Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire
by Silver Dragon Iron Claws
Summary: What happens when the YGO gang gets tossed into an insane realm by a madman high on drugs to save Yami and the world from his diabolical scheme? A crazy, mind blowing adventure full of danger, exitement, and fun!
1. Stoned

Silver Dragon: Hello everybody!

Devil's Wyrm: Welcome to our first try at stupid, insane, just plain crazy stories!

SilverD: Hope you're ready for some good laughs!

DWyrm: And do not forget the pain and torture!

SilverD: Okay, we changed the characters' personalities a bit.

DWyrm: So here is the line up!

            Yugi is VERY gullible.

            Yami talks like Yoda.

            Joey is a wanna-be black rapper with ADD.

            Tristan is a super brave, macho, Rambo stud.

            Tea is an extremely annoying, blonde prep.

            Ryou is an overly trusting, total British dude.

            Bakura is an obsessive-compulsive pyromaniac.  

SilverD: Have fun! Let the extreme idiocy begin!

Notes: /…\: hikari speaking to yami

            //…\\: yami speaking to hikari

Disclaimer: I no own YGO!

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Out of the Frying Pan and into the Fire 

Chapter One: Stoned

            Yugi and the gang were walking home from school when Yami felt a strong magical presence near-by.  Curious, he led the whole group into an alley littered with garbage to the source of the power.  "Eww," whined Tea, "this place is disgusting.  Yugi, why are we here anyway, there's nothing here except smelly trash."

            "Sorry Tea, but Yami sensed something and we gotta check, just in case."

            Tea followed, grumbling about messing up her new shoes.  Shortly, they came upon a dead end.  Puzzled, Yugi contacted Yami through their mind link.  /Yami, is the presence still here? \

            //Yes, feel it I do.  Seem to be on top of it we are. \\

            /Really? \

            Yugi looked down, as if he expected to see actual magic between his feet.  Of course, nothing was there.  /I didn't see anything Yami.  You're sure we're on top of it? \

            //Yes, close presence is. \\

            /Okay. \

            Joey, quickly becoming board, approached Yugi.  "Yo, yo, yo, Yug, waz the hold up?  Me an' my homez a' chillin' back 'ere.  Are weez gonna go o' what?" 

            "Yeah, I guess we should leave, seeing there's nothing here."

            As they were about to leave, a short, skinny man stepped in their way, blocking the exit.  Tristan stepped up to the tiny figure.  "You gonna move, or'm I gonna hafta moves ya?"

             The little man laughed manically, coughed, and then took a drag on his joint.  "I am Dr. Stoned, and you my friend are not moving me anywhere."  

            Ryou came up behind Tristan. "You'd better not talk to him like that, mate.  He'll knock you to 'ell an' back."

            "He, he, he.  Fools, you can never hurt me," replied Stoned, reaching into his pocket.  He pulled out a short, thick stick thing filled with holes, "for I am the holder of the Millennium Bong.  Fear me and…um, ah heck with it."

            Stoned waved the Bong at Tristan and Ryou, sending them flying backwards at their friends.  Fearing for their safety, Yami took control of Yugi's body.  "Are you who, holder the Millennium Bong of?"

            "I already told you oh great and powerful _pharaoh_.  I am Dr. Stoned, controller of the Millennium Bong."

            "You want us what for?"

            "YOU!  I want your power, pharaoh.  Your little friends just were in the wrong place at the wrong time."

            "LITTLE!" cried Joey, shouldering his way through the group to the head. "I'll show ya who's little, punk!"

            Joey tried to take a swing at the doctor but was rebuffed, shoved back into the group by the Bong's power.  

            "Never give power I will!" exclaimed Yami, the Puzzle glowing vigorously.

            "You will! I will force you to!" yelled Stoned, just as forcefully.

            "We get the picture _Doctor_ Stoned," griped Tea. "Can we, like, go already?"

            "Certainly"

            Stoned held the Millennium Bong high, smoke poured out of the holes, blanketing the five.  Suddenly, it felt as if the ground fell out from under them, and they fell for what seemed like an age.  They finally landed, tumbled on top of each other.  Feeling around, they located each other, happy to find all five there.  Well almost everyone.  "Guys," said Yugi hesitantly, "I can't find Yami."

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SilverD: So, you like or not like?

DWyrm: Tell us. Please!

SilverD: We want to know if this is worth continuing.

DWyrm: If not, we will concentrate our efforts on our other projects.

SilverD: Review! PLEEEEEAAAAAASSE! 


	2. Enter the Looney Realm

Silver Dragon: Wuzzzz UUUUUUPPPP!!!

Devil's Wyrm: Hello again.

SilverD: Hope you like it so far.

DWyrm: We will be trying scripting this time.

SilverD: Tell us which is better.

DWyrm: Enjoy.

Notes: I hope you remember everyone's changes cause we're not putting them up twice.  Just one change: Ryou is always panicky but is still a cool Brit, sometimes.  Have Fun!

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Ch.2 Enter the Looney Realm 

Yugi: Uh, guys, where's Yami?

Joey: How the @&%! should I know, homes? 

Tea: I, like, have no idea Yugi.  But could we, ya know, get out of this place.  I don't want to know what I'm standing in.

Yugi: Sure, but how do leave if we don't know were we are?

Tristan: Easy, we find that Stoned freak and I'll beat it out of 'im!

Ryou: *finally wakes up after falling on his head* Ahh! Where are WE?  I can't see anything.  HELP!!!!!!

Joey: *grabs Ryou so he doesn't start running in circles*  Yo, chill man.   

Ryou: Uh, hehe, sorry.

Tristan: So, you like my plan?

Yugi: Yeah! Let's go! *starts walking away*

Joey: Wait, Yug! We don' know if we on a mountaintop or something.  Be careful, bro.

Yugi: Okay.  Now what?

*Stoned's voice appears out of the darkness*

Stoned: Well, hello.  What do we have here?  Looks like a bunch of lost little kids.

Yugi: Where's Yami!

Stoned: Why, he's with me.  But I can't seem to get his power from the Puzzle.  You would not know, would you?

Yugi: Yeah I know. You hafta umphjd- 

Joey: *has hand clamped over Yugi's mouth* No homey!  You can't tell him!

Yugi: Okay.

Stoned: If you do not tell me I will be forced to extract the information from you.

Tristan: Do your worst!  Yugi will never tell!

Yugi: Yeah! Huh?

Ryou: Um, isn't anyone worried about where we are anymore?

Stoned: You are in the Looney Realm!  My personal favorite of all the realms of this universe! 

Tea: Looney Realm?  Hmph.  What are we going to be, like, tortured with?  Bugs Bunny?

Stoned: Torture… Hm, that sounds like a good idea.

Everybody: TEA!!!!!

Tea: *obnoxiously* Sorry!  Can't a girl, like, speak her mind?

Joey: In your case: hell no.

Tea: What!  *Storms off*

Yugi: Wait Tea!  There could be a-

*High pitched, girly scream*

Yugi: -drop.

Tristan: No!  I must save her!

Ryou: Don't!  There could be something dangerous down there!  Like, SNAKES! *Shudders*

Tristan Then Tea is in the snakes!

Stoned: Would you all shut the #$*% up!  I'm not through yet!

Joey: What?  Is that crazy dude talking again?

Stoned: Yes!  As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted by that &*$@%, you are trapped in the Looney Realm.  Here I will inflict many a torture and test to you until you give up the secret to the Pharaoh's power.  

Everyone left: WHAT!

Yugi: What about Yami?

Tristan: And Tea, where did she go?

Stoned: ONE AT A TIME!  Yami is safe with me, for the moment.  That brat, since she so conveniently separated her self, will have to face things on here own.  You people have the pleasure of each other's company, for now.

Tristan: Show yourself you coward!

Stoned: No. *lights another joint* 

Tristan: There you are!  *Jumps at an invisible form leaking smoke*

Stoned: AHHHHH!  *Repels him with his Millennium Bong*

Tristan: Damn.  You'll get yours, you son of a @#$%&!  You'll get yours!

Stoned: Grrr.  For that, I'll separate you from the group.  Maybe you'll find each other again, maybe not.  It's all up to chance.  Even I can't control the awesome power of the Looney realm.

Yugi: So how are gonna to pump me for info if you can't control what happens?

Stoned: You'll see little boy.  You'll all see! HAHAHAHAhahahahahaha…  

Joey: *Snaps back to attention* He gon?  Wha I miss?

Yugi: Not much just a bunch of stuff.

Tristan: More like BS if you ask me.

Joey: I didn' ask you.

Ryou: Uhhh, guys.

Yugi: What?

*Giant tube thingy drops down from the ceiling* 

Joey: Dude, wha the *&%% is that?

Ryou: I don't know; I don't want to know.

*Sign appears over tube*

Yugi: 'This way to petting zoo.'  Ooo!  Petting zoo!  I claim first llama ride! *Runs into tunnel*

Joey: Yo! Homes, wait!  *Follows Yugi*

Tristan: Wait guys!  *Runs for the tube but a giant hole forms under him* Ahhh!

Ryou: *Stare at giant black entrance*  Noooooo!  You'll never take me alive! 

*White gloved hand shoots out of tube, grabs Ryou and starts dragging him in*

Ryou: Aeiiiiiiiii!!!!!  No!!!  I hate petting zoos!!!! *Reaches opening* Bloody hell no! *Grabs edges and holds on for dear life*

*Circus music comes from inside*

Ryou: Circus? Ah! Clowns! *Loses grip* AHHHHhhhhhhhhhh…

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DWyrm: How did you like it?

SilverD: Sheesh!  Can't you ever use contractions!

DWyrm: No.

SilverD: Why not?

DWyrm: It is not noble sounding. 

SilverD: Noble?

DWyrm: I am a powerful demon dragon.  A dragon is regal, dignified. 

SilverD: Aren't I a dragon?

DWyrm: No.  You are a pathetic dragonsbane, a monster hunter.  You only pretend to be a dragon through your armor.

SilverD: I'm not pathetic!  I earned you as an alter ego for punishment, right?

DWyrm: Yes.  But you are still human, inferior.

SilverD: Inferior! Hmph.  The reviewers aren't inferior.

DWyrm: They are human.

SilverD: AH! Just stop!  We need to thank them!

            **Mina-chan AMD**: Glad you liked!  Even happier you checked our bio page and found this!

            **Riku's Girl**: You really think it's funny? Thanks!!!

DWyrm: Check in again.

SilverD: Please review!


	3. Reverie Zoo

SilverD: Welcome back to the Looney Realm!

DWyrm: We hope you enjoy your stay.

SilverD: More importantly, we hope you like all the fun stuff we do to the gang.

DWyrm: The torture starts here, hopefully. 

Disclaimer: We no own YGO! But Stoned, the Millennium Bong, and the Looney Realm are ours.

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Ch. 3: Welcome to Reverie Zoo! 

*Yugi, Joey, and Ryou wake up on a grassy hill overlooking a small park. *

Yugi: Hey look guys! It's a zoo!

Joey: *pulls himself up* Das 'ight homes.  Dya think they gots any pachyderms?

Yugi: What?

Joey: Elephants dog!

Yugi: Oh.

Ryou: Ohh. My head.  Oh no!  Where are we now!  *Looks frantically around* Do you see any clowns?

Joey: Yo dude, chill.  It's jus a harmless zoo.

Ryou: Zoo? Ahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!  *Starts running away*

*Joey grabs him*

Yugi: Come on guys.  Let's go down there. I want to ride a llama.

Ryou: Animals?  Nooooooo!!!!!!

Joey: *Gets up in Ryou's face* Yo man, come on. It's jus a zoo.  Wha, da ya think the tigers will eat you?  I thought Brits were supposed to be brave?  You so weak you should hide in a cave.  Let's go, live a bit for Pete's sake!  We'll breeze right through; it'll be cake! Word!

Ryou: All right chaps, I'll toddle along with you.  You sure there aren't any bloody clowns down there?

Yugi: No! Come on!

*Three walk down hill to zoo entrance*

Yugi: *reads sign* "Reverie Zoo" Joey, what's "reverie" mean.

Joey: How shud I know dog?

Yugi: You're the rapper.  I thought rappers had huge vocabularies.

Joey: I'm only a starter.  I don have da really big word list yet.

Yugi: Oh.

Ryou: Sounds kinda like revelry.  Maybe they throw parties here.

Joey: Yeah! I'll challenge people to battle raps!

Yugi: I don't know… Remember the _last_ time you did that.

Joey: No…

Ryou: Ya got yourself a smart punch in the noggin.  Ya didn't wake up for hours.

Joey: Really?

Yugi: Yeah.  Now come you guys! I wanna go to the petting zoo!

Ryou: Shouldn't we be searching for a way out of here?

Yugi: Ok.

Joey: Maybe thurs a way in der.

*All look into mysterious zoo*

Ryou: I don't know, chaps… This Reverie Zoo looks a bit on the scary side.

Joey: Wha ya say? I lost ya lookin' at dis weird buildin' over thur.

Ryou: What weird building?

*Large gorilla walks up to them*

Joey: Whoa! Das 'as to be da BEST monkey suit I ever seen!

Yugi: Um… Joey, I don't think that's a costume.

Joey: Say wha, homey?

Gorilla: That is correct.  Call me Bobo.  

Ryou: Ah! It talks!

Bobo: Welcome to Reverie Zoo where all your dreams come true!

Joey: Hey!  I'm da one das sposed ta rhyme!

Ryou: Please, elaborate.

Bobo: Come this way, the show is about to start.

Yugi: Show?  Are there any llamas?

Ryou: Oh no.  There won't be any clowns will there?

Bobo: You will see.

Ryou: Oh great.

*Four head into weird building*

Yugi: Whoa… 0o0  This place is BIG!

Joey: Dude… 

Ryou: Wha- what's so huge as to need this much space?

Bobo: Hold your horses.  Just sit down, relax, and enjoy the show.

*Lights dim and a lively tune stats playing*

Lion: *walks up on stage* Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome to the show of far-fetched fantasies.  Today, you'll see creatures from your wildest dreams, feats that were only _thought_ possible, and you may even get to _join_ in the show.

Ryou: Oh great…

Yugi: Come on Ryou; lighten up.  It's only a harmless circus show.  

Joey: Das right dog, what could be dangerous bout dat?

Ryou: *sinks down into chair*  I hope there aren't any clowns.

Lion: May I direct your attention to the right entrance.  

*Three look to the right door*

Lion: No, no!  My right!

*Three look to the left door*

Lion: Very good. Now, prepare yourselves, for the first attraction is a mind-boggling performance of skill, daring, and stupidity.  Give it up for the Juggling Jaguars!

*Four tall, lean jaguars file out of the door, carrying assorted objects*

Joey: Now dat's a werd sight. 

*Jaguars get in a square shape, facing each other.  They start tossing different bones to each other in a crisscross pattern*

Yugi: Correction.  THAT is a weird sight.

Joey: Ya, who'd thunk dey could juggle widout thumbs.

*Jaguars switch to another shape, two facing each other with the other two behind each of them*

Lion: Now, the Juggling Jaguars will perform a very dangerous trick.  Please do not attempt this.

*Jaguars start juggling machetes; staring with two but with the extra cats behind them adding one more every few seconds*

Joey: Da looks dangerous.

Ryou: Quite.  I hope they don't loose any paws.

*After sustaining ten machetes for a full two minutes, the jaguars stop*

Lion: Did you think that was dangerous?  Wait till you see their next trick.

*Jaguars dip the machetes in oil*

Ryou: Oh no…

*Jaguars light two machetes, preparing to do the same trick, but with an added hazard*

Ryou: Oh god no.

*Millennium Ring suddenly bursts into life, shining brightly*

Joey: Was hapenen?

Yugi: I don't know.  Ryou, you ok?

Bakura: Ryou can no longer hear you. *Eyes dart towards stage*  O__O  FIRE!!!!!!!!!  

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SilverD: Sorry, we want to make it suspenseful.

DWyrm: We hope to get the next chapter up shortly.

SilverD: Now to thank the reviewers.

            **Mina-chan AMD: **Our ever-present reviewer.  We would loose hope with out you.  You always read our work, at least in YGO.  Huge thank you to you!

            **Rae and Silver: **Don't worry, we'll keep writing.  It may be slow, though.  We have to many other stories up.  Look if you want to.  We'll have to think about killing Tea.  

            DWyrm: It is good to know there are other 'not exactly human' people out there.

            SilverD: Keep in touch. Please review!


	4. Ring of Fire

SilverD: We're back and ready for some REAL action!

DWyrm: That is right.  Fire play here I come.

SilverD: Let the fun begin!

Notes: If you don't remember, refer to prior chapters.

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Ch. 4: Ring of Fire

Bakura: O.O FIIIIIRRRRRRE! 

            Bakura leaps down into the ring, startling the Juggling Jaguars, causing them to drop their flaming machetes.  The Ring spirit grabs one of the blazing blades and starts running around the ring.

Bakura: FIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIRE…

            Yugi and Joey stare in shocked amazement.

Joey: We hafta stop him, Yug-man, 'fore he burns us all ta a cinder.

Yugi: Sure, how?

Joey: I don know, let me figya somtin out.  *Does Brain Blast from "Jimmy Neutron"*   BRAIN BLAST! 

Yugi: What?

Joey: Um, notin.  We gotsa gets om water.

Yugi: Ok.  Why?

Joey: To dowse da fire dog!

Yugi: Oh.  But where are we gonna get water?

Joey: Dis a zoo, 'ight?  Dere's bound ta be water ere sumwur.  

            The two get up and head for the entrance, hoping to find water quickly before the whole building goes up in smoke.  But before they even reached the door, the big gorilla stopped them.

Bobo: I cannot let you leave.

Joey: Why the #*@% not!

Yugi: Yeah!

Bobo: You cannot leave until the show is over.

Joey: But we're tryin to save yo furry skinz.

Bobo: This facility is more than capable.  Watch.

            Joey and Yugi turn around to see a large elephant lumber into the ring, carrying a large tank of water.  By now, Bakura had set most of the ring on fire; the jaguars had fled back stage.  In his insane circling, the Ring spirit sees the elephant.

Bakura: Must set fire.  Must set fire.  Must-

Elephant: Shut up, you freak. *Sucks water into trunk*

Bakura: Must set FIRE!!!!!!!!!!!!  *Charges at elephant carrying the two flaming machetes, one in each hand*

            The elephant releases a mighty stream of water crashing into Bakura, effectively dowsing his blades.  

Bakura: NOOOOOOOO!!!!  My fire!!

            Elephant takes care of the rest of the flames, and then leaves.    

Joey: Dang, dat sum pachyderm. 

Bakura: Must find more fire…

Yugi: Maybe we should do something about him.

Joey: I dunno.  Dis's pretty funny.

            Bakura runs after the elephant, but gets stopped by a pair of wolves guarding the door.

Wolf 1: You cannot leave until the show is over.

Bakura: Must burn… *swings machetes at them*

Wolf 2: *Easily parries the attack with his staff* It is pointless.  You should go back and enjoy the show with your friends.

Bakura: But I NEED FIRE!!!!!! *Throws himself at them*

            They two toss him to the ground.  One knocks him over the head with his staff.

Wolf 1: Idiot.

Wolf 2: Please return him to his friends.

            A large, lizard like creature picks him up and drops him carelessly in his chair.  The Ring glows again and Ryou regains control.

Ryou: *Blinks* What in the blazes happened here?  Oh…right.

Joey: What the &$%# is wrong with yo yami?

Ryou: He has… issues.  

Joey: No kiddin.

Yugi: Look, the lion ringleader guy is back.

Ryou: Wonderful.  I wonder what crazy insane thing they're going to pull this time.

Lion: Sorry for the interruption folks.  Next we have a magic act, and we need a volunteer. 

Yugi: Oh, oh! Pick me!

Joey: Shhh!  Keep yo voice down dawg.

Lion: Ah yes.  Would the little boy up front please step down to the ring?

Yugi: Oh boy! 

Ryou: Oh great…

Lion: What's your name little boy?

Yugi: Yugi.  And I'm not a little boy.  I'm in high school!

Lion: Really?  

Yugi: Really.

Lion: Well here's what we're going to do Yugi.  You see that big tub thing over there, the one with a chair in the middle?

Yuig: Uh huh.

Lion: We need you to sit in that chair.

Yugi: OK.  *Walks over to the tub and climbs in, with some difficulty, and sits in the chair*  Like this?

Lion: Yes, that's perfect.  Now, let me introduce our resident magician: Wild Weasel!

            A tall, black furred weasel enters the ring, dressed in a black cape with matching white wrist and ankle cuffs, vest, and top hat.  

Ryou: I have a bad feeling about this.

Joey: Usually I wudn't agree wid you.  But dis time I think I'll make an exception.

Weasel: Welcome, welcome, one and all, to my most fantastic show.  I hope you will all enjoy yourselves, *look over at Yugi with slanted, thin eyes* because we're going to have a hell of a time.

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SilverD: I hope you enjoy this.

DWyrm: Yes, it takes time on our part.

SilverD: We like writing it, but this particular story is starting to be a drag.

DWyrm: But we will keep it up for your sake.  

**            Rae and Silver**: We're separate beings, at least we were.  It's kinda confusing so you have that right at least. ^_^ This summer we're thinking of joining the original fiction site, FictionPress.net, and posting our story.  So if you ever really want to know our history, we'll tell you when and if we get it up.  If you want to know a little now, just check our bio page.  It doesn't have everything, but it does have some.  I, SilverD, am the main writer and a dragon slayer knight from the dark ages.  DWyrm was a powerful dragon that I killed some time ago, but I was cursed with his spirit as punishment.  We get along, sort of.  So we have one body, but two minds, kind of like a yami-hikari relationship from Yi-Gi-Oh.  Keep reading, you may find out more about us later.

            **Mina-chan AMD: **You can look at the Matrix story if you want, but since you haven't seen any, you won't understand it all.  Thanks for reviewing.  


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